Form 7 pupil Ed has won the psychology essay competition with his entry entitled ‘To what extent does culture impact our perception of love?‘
Culture plays a fundamental role in shaping our perceptions and experiences of love, influencing everything from our definitions of love to our relationship dynamics. For example, we can ‘love’ living items, non-living items or even use it in language as an adjective. This essay will explore the extent to which culture impacts our view of love through linguistic research, cultural dynamics, the concept of arranged marriage and attachment theory. To start, love is considered to be a universal human experience, defined as an intense feeling of deep affection, therefore its perception and expression could significantly between cultures. This is because each culture encompasses shared beliefs, values, and practices of a society which each individual will enculturate but express in their own way. Our culture provides a framework for understanding various concepts such as love, which suggests a culture can influence the way we interpret and experience love.
Cultural norms and values play a crucial role in our understanding of love by establishing guidelines for romantic behaviour. These norms are spread through socialisation processes (Cole, 2020), influencing individuals from childhood. Psychological theories, such as Social Learning Theory (Bandura, 1961) and Social Interaction Theory (Damyanov, 2023) suggest how individuals acquire cultural norms about love through observing role models who directly reinforce our behaviour leading to imitation or through observing role models and the reinforcement their receive, vicariously. Role models can be any individual a child identifies with, but at a young age is likely to be a same-sex caregiver. This means that individuals internalise cultural definitions of love through cognitive processes like schema formation, where our past experiences newly acquired knowledge of the world create internal mental shortcuts to enable us to navigate the world with speed, including experiences of love (Cherry, 2023). Applying this to Chinese culture, the concept of 爱 (ài) represents a deep, enduring love that emphasises emotional intimacy and commitment (Azarei, 2021) whereas in English, the concept of love has a more general sense that can be applied to objects, animals, people or contexts (Gulla, 2020). Chinese culture values stability and loyalty in relationships, with an emphasis on long-term commitment and mutual support. This is likely due to China orientating towards a collectivist culture, whereby cultures prioritise communal goals, shared values and community in their perception of love (Mcleod, 2023). Alternatively, individuals from individualistic cultures (western cultures) emphasise personal autonomy, self-actualisation and personal experiences (Cherry, 2023).
Cultural dynamics can influence language and communication styles, thus impact how love is expressed and perceived. Sociolinguistic research suggests that cultural variations in vocabulary regarding affection reflect cultural values surrounding relationships. For example, in Chinese the word 剩女 (shèngnǚ), literally meaning ‘leftover woman’, refers to unmarried women in their late 20s – 30s suggesting that they are unwanted (Yip, 2022). This reflects cultural views on the importance of finding stable long-term relationships, whereas individualistic cultures see childless women of this age as career-driven, ambitious or challenging the female ‘expected’ norm. Additionally, research in cross-cultural communication provides insights into preferences of high or low-context communication within relationships. Research has found that those from high-context cultures prefer non-verbal signals to express love (Yadav, 2023). This is seen in China, where gift-giving, cooking for a partner or doing household chores together is a bonding experience that demonstrates love as physical acts rather than emotional expression. Conversely, individuals in low-context cultures prefer explicit verbal communication such as verbal affirmations, declarations of affection, explicit discussions about feelings which reflects the cultural emphasis on emotional authenticity, and our individualistic need to share personal opinions and goals (Price, 2023). Cultural norms can also affect the manners of an individual which can influence communication styles within romantic relationships. Cross-cultural studies have shown that individuals from collectivistic cultures tend to use more indirect communication strategies, such as hinting or using euphemisms to express love, whereas individuals from individualistic cultures tend to use more direct and explicit language, influencing how love is conveyed (Urakami, 2014). This is also seen in non-verbal communication, whereby facial expressions and body language can convey affection in romantic relationships (Mikkola, 2021). Despite this, other evidence suggests that almost every culture shares similar physical displays of affection such as holding hands, hugging, and kissing although in some cultures this ‘public affection’ is not appropriate.
The concept of arranged marriage challenges individualistic cultures. Traditionally, there is an element of trust in parental leadership and a view that parents know what is best for their child (Tahir, 2021). These marriages are more common in collectivist cultures where familial harmony and approval, shared values, community, and obedience towards authority are promoted over individual romantic preferences, and its enculturation that will prepare an individual with the allow them to accept, adapt and adjust to marital partners, developing love gradually over time (Ubaidullah, 2021). This can be seen in India and China where casual dating is rare due to views towards loyalty and obedience (Zhang, 2013). Socialisation, or enculturation, into a collectivist culture will. In contrast, individualistic cultures emphasis the pursuit of romantic love as the foundation for marriage and a plethora dating-apps enable individuals to be selective.
Cultural practices surrounding arranged marriages can influence individuals’ expectations in relationships. For example, individuals raised in cultures where arranged marriages are prevalent may initially feel committed to their chosen partner, even in the absence of romantic feelings. This contrasts with individuals in cultures that prioritise love marriages, who may develop an emphasis on romantic passion and personal fulfilment. Research suggests that the dynamics of arranged marriages differ from those of love marriages, particularly in the initial stages of the relationship (Akhtar, et al., 2017). While love marriages often begin with a period of intense romantic passion, arranged marriages may involve a gradual development of affection over time, as couples navigate their relationship within the framework of familial expectations and duty. Research conducted by Rose and Angel (2019) suggests that individuals in arranged marriages may experience greater marital satisfaction than those in love marriages due to the expectation that they will work together to communicate and solve problems. In England and Wales, the average divorce rate between 1964 and 2019 was 31.8% (Yurday, 2024), whereas In India, where approximately 90% of marriages are arranged, the divorce rate is 1% (Emery, 2023). However, this may be due to the stigma of divorce in the latter culture or the perception towards ‘divorced’ individuals.
Lastly, attachment theory provides insights into how cultural variations can influence our attachment styles to others (Ackerman, 2018). The basic idea is that our primary caregiver in childhood will develop an internal working model (template) for all future relationships. This means that happy, affectionate, safe and loving caregivers will create a standard in their children for their own relationships and vice versa (Bowlby, 1969). This expands to culture, as caregiver behaviour is shaped by the culture in which they were raised by their own caregiver.
For example, some cultures encourage children to become independent from an early age and emphasis that self-reliance and autonomy are important features are likely to develop avoidant attachment types, meaning they avoid intimacy from partners through lack of experience as a child. In other cultures, its typical to restrict emotional expression of affection which could develop an anxious attachment type characterised by a fear of rejection, and excessive need for reassurance in romantic relationships (Robinson, et al., 2014). Alternatively, cultures with high levels of intergenerational trauma may exhibit disorganised attachment patterns in romantic relationships, leading to difficulties in forming and maintaining intimate bonds (Robinson, et al., 2024). In Van Ijzendoorn and Kroonenberg’s (1988) influential meta-analysis of attachment types across 32 countries, it was found that secure was the modal type. This suggests that caregivers who are sensitive to a child’s needs, affectionate, and provide a secure base create an internal working model which is replicated in adult relationships. However, the results also showed that individualistic cultures which promoted independence and autonomy saw the highest percentage of avoidant attachment types which may express less emotional intimacy in adult relationships. We also must consider the outdated nature of this research compared to current society, and the rise and impact of globalisation. Cultures are now merged via social media, television, books and the news meaning individuals can cherry-pick their own norms and values and can observe and imitate celebrity role models and their relationships.
In conclusion, it is evident that culture plays a role in shaping our understanding and expression of love by influencing our cultural schema, which affects our language and behaviour towards love. Linguistic studies highlight how language can alter our expectations of love, while research into socialisation demonstrates the role of societal influences in shaping our understanding of love. Additionally, research into attachment styles display how individual experiences of love can vary between individuals and is influenced by caregiver interactions. However, we can also see that love is not exclusively controlled by culture as there are universal similarities in the attachment styles and communication. Therefore, while love may exhibit cultural nuances, it is nevertheless universal at a fundamental level so it is important to consider the effect of globalisation and multiculturalism on love as it could be possible that in the future love will become increasingly less nuanced around the world as cultural definitions are blended.
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